Chicago Burlesque Reviews

Vaudezilla’s Junk in the Trunk: A Naughty Nostalgia Burlesque Recap by Henrietta Heartbreak

The rumor around town is that Vaudezilla is doing monthly shows at Stage 773 with new formats and new performers rotating in with each theme. I THINK THIS IS AWESOME. So here’s a slice of what happened this month, in A Naughty Nostalgia Burlesque. SPOLIER ALERT: A couple *ahem* phallic objects *ahem* made appearances during the night. While these rather realistic looking props can sometimes be used as a great gag/joke in a piece—the audience is not always as receptive to the glaringly obvious penis reference as one might have hoped. That being said, all the numbers were excellently well-thought out in their character choices, but at one point it became a bit too much. (Not the best night to bring a friend who’s only heard me ramble on about burlesque and never actually seen a show. Eeep!)

Now, ‘Naughty Nostalgia’ conjures up all kinds of imagery and reminiscent dreams of the 80s & 90s for me, and I got exactly what I came for from Vaudezilla! Songs like “White Wedding,” “I Believe I can Fly” and some ABBA all mixed in with glittery burlesquers from all over Chicago? Yes please!

We opened with a small group number that included “Hollaback Girl” and some sweet and sour looking little Pageant Girls competing for attention. (I love when troupes find ways to get their stage kittens into the performance as more than just pick up and set up!

Then we move right into our first nostalgic number of the night, going as far back as… Ancient Egypt! Featuring Red Rum as a mummified Pharaoh that keeps the crowd giggling with each removal, as she’s so old that even her gloves are full of dust! 

 
 
Soon after, we’re introduced to our MC of the evening, Anita Lilmore, as a very pregnant chain-smoker who loves PBR. She keeps us entertained throughout the night, interspersing games and comments, playing Name That Tune, hosting decade-themed trivia, and appearing in a short number later on in the show-- “In Memoriam.”
 
 
Then, one of the greatest songs of the 80s, because who doesn’t love Billy Idol? A “White Wedding” dance by Kitty Karoline, featuring love, lust, guns, blood, white dresses, and betrayal— with a rock solid wrap up! Whodunnit?
 
 
Next up, Magister Freud and his most sensuous card trick of all time. “Pick a card, any card… from my Chip n’ Dale themed card deck.” (wink wink) And if he can’t guess the card you happened to pick, well, he’ll obviously have to dance for you to “I’m too Sexy!” Yes, that happened. And what’s better than that? The card you picked is written on his underwear! We love sexy audience participation numbers. You can call me up anytime!
 
 
Now for the hottest number involving an Old Person, Carmel *hard* candy and a bicycle I’ve ever seen! Thanks, Dirty Devlin, I’ll never be able look at Werther’s candies again without having special feelings.
 
 
Now back to the 80s. Didn’t you ever want to see Marty McFly stripped down to nothing but his Calvin Klines? Well you could have on Saturday with Trixie Sparx! Great homage, even down to the puffed vest and rockin’ mullet. (Nice pasty save, by-the-way Trixie! Showgirl skills!)
 
 
Then to a short EVERYBODY ONSTAGE AND DANCE bit to- what else but “Dancing Queen!” Which seamlessly transitioned into a hot and FRINGE-TASTIC cowgirl number to “These Boots Are Made for Walking” by Lily Rascal. Can’t get enough of those shimmies girl!
 
 
Now who doesn’t love pie? And who doesn’t love a hot housewife holding that pie? And who doesn’t love the hot housewife holding pie and then stripping in front of you and rubbing herself down with the pie? Did all of your secret fantasies just come true? Because Raven Gemini can do that for you. All you have to do is play a little A-Ha and get her some lace white gloves.
 
 
Then to break up half of the audience’s Nam-style 80s pop flashbacks we tune in to those commercials that were so catching- for almost no reason- that you could never forget them. Remember the egg and the frying pan? And that awful catchphrase “this is your brain on drugs”? How about your “brain on burlesque” instead?!
 
Or that great infomercial: “Clap on, Clap off. The Clapper”? We shared a good laugh on that one after we applauded our infomercialists!
 
Next up, a darling washer woman named Cindy. We’re all too keen on sensualizing the Disney princesses, and Sophia Bliss did not let us down! I bet you always wondered what Cinderella did in her spare time with her sparkling shoes and sudsy soap. Did you want her to wring her sponge out over her voluptuous self? Because I did. And I usually get what I want (wink wink).
 
And what could possibly be next but a little 90s SIR MIX-A-LOT wafting that ever-so-familiar beat over Bella Canto’s sultry self? She’s a natural crowd pleaser, singing her own introduction to her number that had the audience snickering all over the place with her impromptu vocal olympics. And what could possibly have made “I Like Big Butts” even better? Did you say Assels? BECAUSE THERE WERE ASSELS. And Tassels! They were everywhere and we loved it!
 
 
Now if you’re looking to get a little hot under the collar at the next show you attend, make sure Mister Junior is performing. We got a handy- er- solo- UM, chocolate covered performance from him, revolving around the song “Computer Love.” And I needed to take a cold shower after that hot fudge sundae. Hot damn!
 
 
After getting the crowd all riled up, what better way to completely sexually frustrate them than with a song YOU’LL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. Especially when it’s done up all jazzy, bluesy, with a little sumpin’ sumpin’ by Sadie O’Swirl and Zipper McKenzie! A funny, catchy, little acoustic sketch by the duo to keep up with Vaudezilla’s high standard of keeping a variety of great performers in the spotlights.
 
 
And if you were wondering where the mighty Po’ Chop has been during the entire show, look no further. For the closing act of the night, P. Kelly, a tribute to all of the R. Kelly songs you ever heard in the 90s. Including “I Believe I can Fly” that required cameo choir singers in the background of her strip. And yes, the infamous urination scandal was referenced- HEAVILY- in a gasp-worthy, eh, finish that wrapped up the night.
 
 
Keep a look out for next month’s themed show from Vaudezilla! Can’t wait to hear what else they’ve got in store for us. And remember to check back often for casting calls and other burlesque info. Some of the performers in this show had seen the casting call here on chicagoburlesque.org! So keep in touch!
 
Much Love!
 
Article by Henrietta Heartbreak
 
Photos by Kriss Abigail
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Stage 773

Michelle L'amour's All I Want for Christmas Holiday Burlesque Spectacular Recap by Ethan See

A lot of people will ring in the holiday season with a mad shopping spree, or watching their favorite animated special from childhood. But the connoisseurs of burlesque know that nothing sets the stage for the holidays like swinging tassels and rosy cheeks that shimmy and shake.
 
This past weekend, the Chicago Starlets of Studio L’amour brought their holiday cheer to the Mayne Stage in Rogers Park. In a unique twist, they gave a present to their fans by allowing us all to vote on what acts we wanted to see performed.  
 
Bastard Keith, returning from New York to host the festivities, opened the show, as only he can, belting out “The Most Wonderful Time of Year” in his signature lounge singer style. Chicago Starlets Ivy Fabulous, Lily Bloom, and Rhonda Vous joined him on stage as dancing Christmas presents, which were designed strategically to give us a peek at their gifts.
 
After some hilarious opening banter (much of which was focused on my date’s cleavage), our esteemed Bastard welcomed our first act to the stage. The pint-sized provocateur, Honey Halfpint combined adorable and sexy as only she can, dressed as an elf whose Jack-In-The-Box won’t pop out.  After some seductive strip teasing, Jack wised up and popped right out.
 
Next we were treated to Dottie La Vie, who delivered an amazing routine to Sam Cooke’s “Cool Train”.  Entering with a vintage dress and a suitcase that looked designed for rail travel, Dottie’s nimble disrobing to the sexy soul number made us all hopeful that she’ll make it home for the holidays.
 
In a glimpse of Christmas future, the next act was one the Chicago Starlet apprentices, Sophia Hart.  Miss Hart won the hearts of the audience by putting her all into a spectacular bump and grind Rockabilly number. The future of the Chicago Starlets looks extremely bright with this kind of upcoming talent.
 
We were then transported to the Garden of Eden, as Greta Layne performed her tribute to Eve. Greta strutted her way across the stage, set to a slow, sexy rhythm and erotically writhed her way up the garden trellis, reveling her amazing physique covered in leaf covered gems.
 
Before we could even recover from Miss Layne’s display, the newest member of the Starlets, Dorian Ames continued the sultry assault. This bombshell took her sweet time, teasing us as she sensually peeled her burgundy lingerie off to a slow pulsating beat. Air was humped. Hearts were broken. Ames is in a league of her own, like a swag Geena Davis.
 
UK sensation Lily Bloom was the next act to take our breath away. Lily took things to the next level by sensually stripping her stockings off, and then depositing glowing green balls in them. This began a jaw-dropping sequence of twirling the glowing ball-filled stockings like a pair of batons, which Bloom gracefully weaved around her lithe body. 
 
Before we could catch our breath from the combination of beauty and talent, Bastard Keith ushered in recent inductee to the Burlesque Hall of Fame, Frenchie Kiss. Prancing onstage with a (stuffed) French Poodle in a basket, Frenchie owned the stage, sashaying in style to a playful Parisian melody. No one, and I mean no one, has more fun performing then Miss Kiss, and her joy is infectious. By the time she was down to pasties and a g-string, she whipped the audience into a frenzy with her signature tassel twirling technique. 
 
After a much-needed intermission to catch our breath and regain composure, Bastard Keith welcomed us back by giving us a proper introduction to a one-of-a-kind Burlesque living legend.  If you’ve never had the chance to experience the unique charms of the grand dame Chanteuse Magoose, nothing I’m gonna write here is going adequately describe it for you. It would be like describing a sunset, if the sunset had Hepatitis-C and a lazy eye. Trust me, you need to see this one for yourself.
 
Next, Stella la Rocque and Delia Aces joined forces for a smoldering duet. Dressed in matching menswear, the twosome seductively swayed and strutted around each other, each fighting for dominance by ripping each other’s clothes off. The androgynous costuming could not hide the remarkable beauty these women posses. I don’t know if the routine was meant to be a gender-fuck statement but it was one of the most erotic routines I’ve seen on stage. I hope they continue to refine it and present it at future shows.
 
The “Baroness of Bump” legendary starlet Lady Ginger was our next performer, who kept the theme of slow, sensual teasing with her sultry number. Ginger is one of Studio L’amour’s esteemed instructors, and she gave everyone in the audience a lesson in classic Burlesque shimmying. 
 
The second duet of the evening was a marked departure from the first, but Kami Oh and Bazuka Joe, on loan from the Stage Door Johnnies, teamed up for a number that was a charming as it was sexy. Bazuka portrayed a snake charmer, using his flute to ensnare the sexy serpent Kami. Their combination of clever costuming, pair dancing and seductive stripping were a hit.
 
Nora Gretz, performing as Menorah Gretz for the holiday season, brought some Chanukah flavor to the proceedings, much to the delight of fellow tribe member Bastard Keith, as well as the audience. Moving her body to "I Have a Little Dreidel" Nora showed off some serious dance technique, in addition to bringing sexy back to Chanukah.  
 
The final solo performance of the evening belonged to the woman who started it all, the legendary Michelle L’amour.  Presenting an updated version of her classic “Claire de Lune” fan dance, Miss L’amour’s flawless manipulation of her feathered fans, as well as the fans in the audience, was dazzling. It had been awhile since I’d seen this number, but I was just as taken with the graceful way she glided her fans across her marvelous frame, giving us fleeting glimpses of her body.
 
A delightful number featuring the full cast of the Chicago Starlets in a reindeer themed group number topped off the show. The intricate chorography these girls displayed showed the level of talent and dedication this troupe has.  
 
The Chicago Starlet’s Holiday Extravaganza was the perfect stocking stuffer to warm even the coldest Chicago winter’s night.
 
Recap by Ethan See
 
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Honey Halfpint
Dottie La Vie
Sophia Hart
Greta Layne
Dorian Ames
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Frenchie Kiss
Stella la Rocque
Delia Aces
Lady Ginger
Kami Oh
Bazuka JoeMichelle L’amour
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Vaudezilla’s Monster Burlesque University Recap by Henrietta Heartbreak

Welcome to UTI!

The University of Transylvania… Institute.

A place for Monster Students, Teachers and the Undead to come together in an effort promote knowledge and acceptance of all types of person (human or otherwise) so long as you don’t mind a little blood, gore, or sensuality!

The crowd poured in a steady stream, and as the lights began dimming for the beginning of the show, immediately the crowd applauded! Everyone was pumped for tonight’s activities.

Stage 773 held the even on Saturday night, a beautiful venue, with an almost ‘theatre in the round’ stage for this show. The audience was able to view their favorite performers from all sides *wink wink* throughout the evening. Vaudezilla pulled it off spectacularly, engaging everyone right, left and center straight away. The show opened with a UTI Zombie cheerleader and her friends cheering a UTI pep-rally type Alma Mater, telling us all what UTI is really about. Unfortunately the zombie was unable to cheer, due her being rather… undead, and as the other girls paraded off stage, she could only drag her feet and shuffled off drooling. That had the crowd laughing already.

We find ourselves introduced to three perspective students, and immediately one of them is bitten by a UTI attendee. They disappear into the depths of the school to begin their ‘transformation.’ We’ll catch up with them later.

A man with a hump comes out to take the remaining students on a tour of the campus, and introduces himself as Igor. He apologizes for his bad jokes and his ‘deadpan’ humor, and takes them on their merry way to meet faculty and students!

First up: the Dean of Admissions, a bodacious Butcher-ette.

Titty Perkins indulges us in a little creepy Decemberists song, shimmying just ever-so-slightly with a great butcher knife in her hand. Sensual and dark, with a little blood and entrails to top it off.

Igor and the students appear back on stage and one of them asks: “Is this one of those artsy alternative schools?” Oh, something like that, yes.

Next up, our bitten student returns! In a heavy dance number, she’s gone on a rampage and kills one of the two remaining students! In a great display of amazing prop/costume work, blood and even an exposed rib are shown as she eats the poor girl alive! They all exit the stage dragging the dead girl in a smear of blood behind them.

Now we have just one young male student and Igor. He looks like the studious type, so they head off to the library—which is haunted. Naturally.

On their way, they run into the ‘Teacher’s Pet’ of UTI, a werewolf who uses his Wolfen Wiles to charm all the teachers in school. In a deliciously delicate number by Mister Junior, this werewolf studies a book called ‘How to Burlesque’ to enhance his wiley wolfy ways.You’ll never guess where his tassels are, and you’ll never guess how he gets his XXX-tra credit!

Next, an appearance by Ghoulia Childs, making her famous Brain Stew! But be careful, it’s a bit rich.

Now here’s a crowd favorite. Saucy Jack as Jason… the Janitor.

With his looming presence, general dislike for social interactions and serial killer appearance, you’d assume that he’s not the nicest guy around. But when he pulls a female’s head out of his soap bucket and sticks it on the end of his mop to slow dance, you get a little bit different story. Though when the girl doesn’t respond well enough to his advances, he chops her head off again. The crowd bursts into applause a cheering and raucous laughter when he pulls a tie out of his janitor’s jumpsuit, and especially when we see him start to strip for the rest of the song.

And for the debut act by Red Hot Annie, she’s the Gender Studies professor, and a Widow. All in black. Her number is sensual and fierce. Classic-style, with a little transformation in the middle! She becomes a gorgeous black widow spider! Complete with a web and little red hourglass to complement her figure.

Igor and our lone student appear once more, the student worried. Igor tells him not to be so because ‘She does that all the time.’

Then to the cafeteria. After all that touring, you must be starving!

Trixie Sparx tantalizes us with a little of her homecooked goodness and ‘special sauce.’ But wait, when she removes her daintily tied ascot from her neck, what could be there but… two puncture wounds. She’s a vampire! Things get a little messy from there on out, and a few people had to, ahem, cross their legs.

Then we had one of the best burlesque transformations I’ve seen yet! The sorority girl from UTI’s Goth House magick’s us with a bit of a naughty potion, and becomes a Voodoo Priestess! Animal pelts and feathers and au naturale all over, it was a striking metamorphosis!

Another crowd favorite: Biology Class. Where you get to know your classmate… inside and out. Your Instructor, Hedy Wallbanger, raises the dead (and some other things) in a duet to “Feed my Frankenstein.” It’s a whirlwind of winding female form over a ‘surprisingly’ strong and muscular Saucy Jack, who’s been shocked back to life to strip the rest of her—and his—clothes clean off!

Next, at the boathouse, a Banshee calls and entrances Igor and our perspective student. She’s beautiful with a haunting voice to match, and emerges from the audience with black feather pasties and a merkin. Her hands and feet are tied with black ribbon and she sings in the ‘waters’ surrounding the boathouse. A great somber piece, until she screeches and runs off the stage in flurry, true to her nature.

Now, our poor student had been wandering the halls of UTI and has yet to decide whether or not he fits in. But at the social mixer, he takes a little sip of something he’s never tried before and BAM. We’ve got ourselves a new vampire in our midst. And a sexy one at that. But don’t worry, he doesn’t sparkle. And he’ll probably actually bite!

To top off the night, we had another crowd favorite. Two people who had perished in the lake around the boathouse come back for a visit… to Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On,’ complete with a King of the World stance taken at one point. In this deadly duet, two lovers spin round each other, washed out with the green water of the lake, mouths full of seaweed, and the gal steals the man’s heart… literally! At the end, they fall into one another, and swim away in the current.

Curtain call ends with a giant dance party with the entire cast on stage. The music alternates between the ever classic, Monster Mash, and Lady Gaga’s ‘Monster’ as the cast runs out to dance. The whole rooms bursts into applause, and some lucky members are even invited up onstage to dance with the performers. The space then opens up for everyone, dancing and conversing with the cast ensues, and everyone is wonderfully friendly and lovely! I had the chance to speak with a few of them, and boy were they in love with this show. No tricks here—If you missed it, you sure missed a treat!

Students

  • Dirty Devlin
  • Destiny
  • Po’ Chop
  • Mister Junior
  • Anita Lilmore
  • Paprika Ame
  • Lulu Loose
  • Sadie O’Snap
  • Red Rum
  • Sanjula

Faculty

  • Keith Emroll
  • Booty Garland
  • Saucy Jack
  • Hedy Wallbanger
  • Titty Perkins
  • Trixie Sparx
  • Red Hot Annie
  • Raven Gemini

The Crew

  • Dick Dijon
  • Aisha Kandisha
  • Rose Freeman

Recap by: Henrietta Heartbreak

Photos by Kriss Abigail

 

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2012 Superstars of Burlesque Show in Chicago - Recap by Ethan See

Chicago Burlesque fans are pretty damn spoiled. I mean, not only do we live in a city with one of the most vibrant collection of local troupes; living legends and the top performers in the world descend on our fair city once a year to blow our minds.

The 3rd Annual Superstars of Burlesque, produced by Studio L’amour featuring a cast comprised of Burlesque Hall of Famers, returned to it’s original home at the Music Box Theater this year.

Hosted, as always, by the inimitable “Mr. Showbiz” Murray Hill, himself (!) the show began with Hill taking the stage, joined by the full cast of the Chicago Starlets, dressed as Murray for the opening number. I’m pretty familiar with these gals, and I could barely recognize them as they embodied our host so well.

An early highlight of the evening for me was being the target of Murray’s classic insult style comedy, as he welcomed us all to an amazing night of performances.

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Chicago’s own Dolls of Doom were first up, starting the show in an unexpected fashion, hidden beneath a Chinese New Year Dragon Costume. After some seductive winks and shimmying, the dragon costume was abandoned to reveal Lola Martinet and Teddy Bear as they launched into a series of tandem acrobatic poses as daring as they were sexy.

Roxi D’Lite, 2010’s Queen of Burlesque, followed up by sensually peeling off a luxurious gown in classic burlesque style, revealing a spectacular figure that left the audience, and even Murray Hill speechless.

Las Vegas’s Kalani Kokonuts treated us to a Jessica Rabbit inspired number that featured her sultry singing while removing her rhinestone encrusted gown between verses of a torch song.

Frenchie Kiss and Jett Adore, performed their now-classic routine, which won them Best Duo at the Burlesque Hall of Fame this year. Frenchie was a vision as a sexy executive, stealing the audience’s heart while stealing most of Jett’s clothing as he portrayed her faithful secretary. Their number was elegant, playful, classic and sexy as hell. Modern Burlesque at it’s best.

The Superstar show is usually my only exposure to Boylesque acts, and I’m always impressed at what the fellas are bringing to the art form. 2012’s King of Burlesque, Russell Bruner showed us how he earned his title with an amazing display of silent film style dance and acrobatics.

The Chicago Starlets then treated us to their most recent group number, a delightful tribute to Carmen Miranda that showcased the intricate choreography and bombshell bodies that sets this group apart from all others.

It’s hard to adequately describe the routine New York’s Julie Atlas Muz performed for us next. “Perform” doesn’t even cut it, as she assaulted the stage, and quite a few audience members, as a crooked NYPD officer. Bad Lieutenant met Burlesque as half-eaten donuts flew into the crowd, a hidden coke baggy was revealed and even my date got dry humped as part of the mayhem!

Foxy Tann and her back up dancers The Wham Bam Thank You Ma’ams next brought their Minneapolis blend of R&B glamour and camp choreography for a memorable number.

2012’s Queen of Burlesque, Imogen Kelly, hailing from Australia, added an element of puppetry to her performance, starting as two flamingos courting each other before stripping down in style.

The show then segued into the “Legend Section” as international sensation Dirty Martini took the stage, revealing her magic mastery of tassel twirling. No one has more fun on stage then Miss Martini, and the joy behind her bump and grind was infectious.

It was then time for the Guest of Honor to make her entrance. Legendary exotic dancer and exploitation film star Kitten Natividad showed us she still has her moves as she shimmied and swayed to a montage of her classic images on the screen behind her.

The show was capped by a performance by the woman who brought it all together, Michelle L’amour. Reviving her signature La Panthere routine, she captivated the sold out Music Box crowd as she purred and gyrated her way from the inside of a panther cage to the top, seducing us with slow, deliberate movements of her lithe body.

In a city renowned for it’s Burlesque performances, The Superstars of Burlesque lived up to its reputation as the year’s most extravagant evening. I’m already awaiting next year’s spectacle.

Recap by: Ethan See

Photos by:  PEZphoto

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Eve’s Parlor- A Benefit for Katie’s Kids Recap by Henrietta Heartbreak

At the Metro on Saturday night, I was greeted by heavy security and A TON of ID checks. I had heard this show would be big, and this definitely confirmed it. Live, LOUD music thrust its way through the lobby and entrance way. The line “Open up my eager eyes, ‘cause I’m Mr. Brightside!” was decipherable from the front doors, and I knew I was in for a great show!

Early on, I was able to sneak off into the green room pre-show with an All-Access pass, and take a peek around. Hair stylists and Photographers abounded, Stage managers ran rampant, and miss Angela Eve was prepping to introduce their late, late show. Top hats, stockings, plaid, lace and pearls filled the entire green room.

Two other groups had spearheaded the benefit show For Katie’s Kids this evening: DJ Arkitek and McLovin (the rock band playing prior). To learn more about Katie’s Kids rehabilitation facility, please go online to www.ktskids.com. This truly is an excellent program, designed to “serve the needs of children and teenagers with physical or developmental disabilities.” And “helps [them] have fun and see themselves as strong, competent, active people who can and should participate fully in life.” If you could not attend the show, definitely take a moment to check out the site and see the wonderful things they do to improve the lives of these children.

And so, the show had started at 9pm, and now the crowd was supremely warmed up for the 11:30pm set of Big Top Cabaret, featuring Eve’s Parlor and Cash O’Riley! Drinks were served all night, and a heavily intoxicated crowd milled about the floor. It was standing room only, and the enthusiastic hubbub of the audience rivaled the volume of the rock band that had just left the stage.

The smoky, ornate stage, topped with dim lights and the bar atmosphere gave you the feeling of stepping back in time, right to the vaudevillian style of Eve’s Parlor and Big Top Cabaret. As Chriss Lane took the crowd for a whirl, yelling “There’s and emergency! An emergency here tonight!” Everyone stopped and looked slightly bewildered. He finished:

“There’s not enough people near the stage!” Miraculously all the gaps filled in and people laughed and cheered. And capping the Big Top Cabaret intro off, he coaxed the audience towards making plenty of noise: “Remember, the more love you show the ladies, the more they show you!”

Now here’s where I fell in love with this performance. It’s quite a novelty as a burlesque dancer to have a live band rockin’ it as your DJ. And Eve’s Parlor had the guts— and made it glorious— with the Rockabilly band Cash O’Riley and the Downright Daddies supplying their music for the evening. I’m telling you right now, they were absolutely swoon-worthy. Cash, with his devilishly good looks and sideburns, crooned endlessly into the mic with the classy, sassy style of all that is punk and rock. There was even an upright bass! Timeless.

I swear, I wish I had the time to tell you about every single sexy act that graced the stage, but there was so much lust packed into that hour and a half that I’d positively have to write a novel to all of you about it. And so, I’ll just give you some glittery glimpses that should get you all giddy inside. By performer, I’ll tantalize you with tidbits from each of their numbers.

Holly Peño- A Transplant from Shameless Burlesque. Started us off with a classic top hat and tails, and some pearls that made every shimmy even sweeter. Her second act comprised of a dainty parasol, an alarm clock, and some swanky Victorian era costuming. Lovely.

Ali Arnold- A Bellydancer, straight from N’Orleans. With a sinewy, golden snakelike number, she drew some apparently hammered fellows in the audience to attempt waving their own snake arms in pure desire. In the second act, she wowed us with a more tribal dance. Making us ooh and ahh with each snap of her expertly trained belly muscles.

Angie Z- From Miami, a demure and fiery vocalist. First, sings for us “Walking After Midnight” by Patsy Kline, and welcomed the audience to slow dance as she teased us with an elegant red boa. For her next song, she and Cash belted out “Oh Darling” by the Beatles. And again, she held complete command over the audience, singing through teeth clamped down on her glove for an exceptionally skillful clothing removal.

Trixie Minx- The International Sensation, a well-travelled and well-loved lady of the tease. Stunning us with a brilliantly pink formal gown, and the superb use of a cape, we were all surprised to see her strip down to a little devil tail! The song? “Hellbound,” sang by the dapper Cash O’Riley, naturally. But the highlight of the evening was Trixie’s Marie Antoinette number. That 16th century French-inspired dress is SPECTACULAR. All I could remember thinking was, however will she get that off? And piece by frilly piece, she exposed bits of Marie’s bad side to the song “Birthday Cake” by Rhianna. With each mention of the word ‘cake,’ believe it or not, a piece of cake unearthed itself from somewhere in her frills. And subsequently, was fed to audience members. Truly a treat!

Miss Pussykatt-From America’s Got Talent and the Daredevil Circus Company, she has toured with Motley Crue and Motorhead! As Chriss Lane aptly put it, “This woman could make the devil purr!” She stunned us in her first act with professional acrobatic moves over a chair, ending in the splits. Next, a voluptuous boa number, complete with a beautiful flowing nightgown. The Pièce de résistance, a darling little bathtub, where she drenched herself in cascading soapy water! Pleasing the crowd once again.

The One and Only Angela Eve- A remarkable choreographer, and orchestrator of the Big Top Cabaret. First, amazing us with her sparkling green Mardi Gras-inspired look, complete with a great gown and a huge train. And then in her famous fashion, shimmied our eyes right out of their sockets! Boy, you could not get enough of those tassels! Then, a surprise to everyone, Angela debuts a BRAND NEW ACT! It begins with a sultry Louis Armstrong melody, and then amps it up with peppier song to include some dramatically snazzy choreography. At one point, shoving an audience member’s face right into her bosom! Of her dance moves, there were splits, shimmies, and even ended in a fabulous backbend.

Stage Kittens, Bonnie Blue and Lorraine Rose- entertained us with a mini duet before the intermission, just giving us a taste of what they were capable of!

Donna Touch- the ferociously independent performer. Shocked us all with an explosively high-energy fan dance. In a full nude body suit, with just the tiniest bits of well-placed glitter, the fans kept you always wondering just enough. This number was traditional in nature, but wild with her lively and animated moves!

Viva La Meurte- The perfect Powerhouse! In a delicate oriental outfit, completed by a darling parasol, this gal shook and shimmied herself out of her clothes in a brilliant use of choreographed props. It reminded me of a Chinese Dragon festival. Great orange and purple color combinations made this number pure eye candy. Even confetti happened. Believe it!

And after all these perfectly executed and innovative vaudeville acts, I was so let down by the audience’s lack of enthusiasm. This crowd had obviously been new to burlesque, and it was tragic that they weren’t able to fully appreciate the genuine stage presence and pure effort that these ladies brought to the stage that night. Though, I do believe they made quite a few new converts to the scene.

Even so, this was a remarkably memorable milestone for the big BurlyQ community in Chicago. Ten years ago, the last burlesque act on the stage of the Metro was the shock-value oriented Suicide Girls. They had torn the stage to all hell, and disregarded the city rules on nudity and alcohol consumption at a venue. The Metro was heavily fined and penalized. Since then, the Metro (which had been erected many years ago as a fine vaudeville theatre) had banned burlesque, in its entirety, from being performed on their property ever again. But lo and behold, Eve’s Parlor burlesque, with their flair, style and professionalism, was able to make it happen here again that Saturday night. Now this historically important stage can regain its roots, and with a little help from Big Top Cabaret’s tempting teases, re-christen it for all that is vaudeville and burlesque!

This excellent benefit night ended with the sensational Cash O’Riley and the Downright Daddies (all the way from Detroit, ladies and gentlemen!) closing us out. Those left in the audience by 1:15am were swing-dancing their hearts out on the floor to their epic sound. This was not a show to be missed!

Eve’s Parlor does not run the burlesque circuit, and so each show is completely unique! Stay up-to-date with their upcoming events at angelaeve.com!

Eve’s Parlor and Big Top Cabaret

EmCee:

  •     Chriss Lane

Starring:

  • Angela Eve
  • Holly Peño
  • Ali Arnold
  • Angie Z
  • Trixie Minx
  • Miss Pussykatt
  • Donna Touch
  • Viva La Meurte

Music by:

  • Cash O’Riley and the Downright Daddies

With Panty Wranglers:

  • Bonnie Blue
  • and Lorraine Rose

Recap by: Henrietta Heartbreak

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Chicago Teases for the Strip show recap by Di' Lovely

The Burlesque Hall of Fame (BHoF) in Las Vegas, Nevada is something too rare that this community as a whole cannot lose. Sin City would seem to make the perfect archival home for keeping the rich history of burlesque alive, however its specific location has been overrun with the construction of the adjacent transit highway. And so, what is the BHoF to do, in order to properly preserve its precious gems? Well, those assels gotta get movin'! With the ever growing burlesque community and with room to spare for legends in the making, it is only fitting that the BHoF be relocated to an even lovelier and most of all, secure place to call home.

The organization's goal was to raise $20,000 to cover relocation & memorabilia preservation expenses, with the deadline of September 1st. For months, various burlesque troupes worldwide have been producing shows with proceeds going to BHoF. On Friday night--the last day'til deadline, five shows across the continent were gracing the stage in BHoF's honor. Though Chicago boasted the largest production of the fundraiser's final night!

The Kiss Kiss Cabaret, along with its sponsors put on a fabulous show at their resident stage, the Greenhouse Theater. It was a great turnout of hootin' and hollerin' spectators to enjoy what was close to a 3 hour show. And what better way to high-kick off the Labor Day festivities.

Every seat is a great seat but if you want the performers to interact with you, get there early to grab the front row at stage level.  However, sitting up front doesn't always get the attention you want drawn to yourself. Ahem... especially if you show up late, or if you get up to pee during the show. It probably doesn't matter where you sit with the intimate setting. The host will rip at you and so, no one is safe. This is a burlesque show after all.

Only the chosen ones would know, but backstage must have been a better view. We could only imagine what it's like to be surrounded by Chicago's best of burlesque! And we thank you, beauties of: the Kiss Kiss Coquettes, Gorilla Tango Burlesque, Michelle L'amour's Chicago Starlets, Belmont Bombshells, Hot & Heavy Burlesque, the Dolls of Doom, Plan 9, Angel Burlesque (Indianapolis), and other local independent artists devoting their time and talents.

All of the dancers were a joy to watch, but there were a few who left quite an impression on me...

Chicago Starlet, Honey Halfpint, spun her feather boa ring through her gyrating body. And I loved the surprise of her song choice, an R&B track taking myself back to middle school singing along. Indeed, her dancing "was like whoa!"

The ever so delightful Ray Ray Sunshine, certainly delivered. She created a scene waiting for her lover, only to find a sparkly dildo sent to her door! She danced with it, stripped down for it, and happily ran away with her love into the sunset!

Tila Von Twirl teased the audience, hiding her sweet body with big feathered fans. Dancing to a number called "Hot Crossed Buns" she later revealed to us a very tasty treat...big, delectable, cinnamon buns!

Gorilla Tango Burlesque's MsPixy thrilled everyone as a nerd girl and gigantic spider!


Southern belle, Angela Eve, was incredibly sharp with her choreography. Spinning around in her beautiful gown, peeling off layers of beads and coins, she tore up the stage stronger than Hurricane Isaac ever could!

Nearly naked women weren't the only entertainment of the night. We laughed the night away with comedic performances of: Brad French the Silver Fox Juggler, The Amazing Tomas the magician with hilarious impersonations, and Ken Raabe of the Claptrap Band singing about a dinosaur orgy?!
 
Marie Curieosity presented a super clever piece of Batgirl having an identity crisis. And with the magic of makeup, she turned into the Joker right before our eyes! 

Hosting the show was Max Flattery, soliciting more donations for the BHoF, asking audience members to throw money on stage ...to keep his clothes ON! But as any burlesque show goes, he dutily stripped down to heart printed boxers and red sequin tassels.

Ticket sales and dollar tossing wasn't the only way to donate. A silent auction was held in the theater lobby, presenting an array of coveted items such as signed photos of burlesque legends to beautifully beaded costumes.

It was a definitive night for the city, with an eccentric collection of Chicago's greatest burlesque troupes: from classic, to nerdy, rocker to comical.... And what do they all have in common?! The love for BOOBIES!

The finale number was a dream scene, with all the ladies on the stage. Jack Midnight sang of all the great things about Chicago, with the glamorous visual of sparkly costumes flying and titty tassels twirling!

Even before the show started, the Burlesque Hall of Fame had already reached its goal. By the end of the night, $5000 of which was presented on a giant check signed by the Kiss Kiss Cabaret, representing the generous donors of Chicago! At time of print, the BHoF has collected over $23,500!  Now, Chicago wasn't "teasing for the strip." I think we got down to business when it came to reaching BHoF's fundraising goal!

For more info on the Burlesque Hall of Fame and how you can donate, please visit http://burlesquehall.com/2012/08/pleasegive/

About the contributor, Di' Lovely Hailing from San Diego, California, Di' Lovely (of The Caburlesque Kittens) is a recent transplant to Chicago.  With her move to a city of rich history in burlesque, this exotic beach Babe is enjoying a sort of burlesque reawakening in her journey as a performer. Keep up with Di' Lovely and 'LIKE' her profile at www.Facebook.com/MissDiLovely. 
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Chicago Teases for the Strip show recap by Ray Koltys

At 10pm on Friday, August 31, a buzz of excitement filled the air in the space usually occupied by the Kiss Kiss Cabaret, at the Greenhouse Theater Center on Lincoln.  130 avid burlesque fans were in attendance. We were there for a burlesque marathon of sorts, two hour-long sets of acts, with an intermission and silent auction, to support the Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas, NV, which was burdened with unexpected moving expenses. We weren't disappointed.

Kiss Kiss's Max Flattery emceed the event, bantering with the audience in his slightly demented way, and getting lots of laughs as the evening progressed.

The Kiss Kiss Coquettes were the first women on stage, kicking things off with a 6 person secret agent number in trenchcoats, with flashlights.

Pearl Pistol followed, in style, with a classic fan dance, her costume beneath dripping with her namesake pearls.

Lola Getz took us to the South Pacific with The Hawaiian Lei Song ("Hawaii is know for its leis..."), stripping down from a grass skirt and a bunch of leis, some of which ended up on lucky audience members.

Viva La Muerte changed the pace with Separate Ways, from Hot & Heavy's recent Journey show. She appeared hunkered down inside a shield of sorts, with EL wire flashing to the music, then emerged to command the stage in an energetic striptease.

Next, Kiss Kiss ensemble member Werner Claptrap brought out an electric guitar, and strummed and sang his original composition, Dinosaur Orgy, backed up by Max Flattery and Jack Midnight, who menaced and dry-humped audience members during the instrumental segments. Riotously funny.

Ms. Pixy kept up the humor with a nerd girl burlesque. Her character might have been on her way home from school or from a comic-con, but she she got sexier and sexier as abandoned her inhibitions and her clothes.

Chicago Starlet Dorian Ames shifted gears into a sultry, classic striptease from a black skirt and corset with red sequins, and gloves, set to Andrew Bird's Why?. The line, "Damn you for being so easygoing..." stuck with me.

Desde Mae Q Moana, of Angel Burlesque, all the way from Indianapolis, IN clearly enjoyed danced with a Cabaret aesthetic to the The Cure's Love Cats.

The Amazing Tomas got big laughs as always, and impressed with a new(ish?) trick (I hadn't seen it before, anyway) involving flicking the number of cards called for by an audience participant off of a deck. Wow!

Chicago Starlet Honey Halfpint danced in pink chiffon to a funky number, and made devastatingly effective use of a circular feather boa.

Plan 9 brought out three girls in lacy aprons, with plates of cupcakes, dancing to an old-timey 1940s-ish number, only to be interrupted by leather girl, Stella Cheeks who rocked their world with the new wave track Cherry Bomb.

And all that was just the first half!

Hot and Heavy opened up the second half of the show with another act from their Journey show, Don't Stop Believin'. Viva La Muerte appeared, looking innocent despite her red dress, only to be menaced (as much as someone in plaid Bermuda shorts can be menacing) and romanced by tomboy/tough guys Red Rum and Dahlia Fatale.

Tila Von Twirl, of the Dolls of Doom, had a bit of fun with the traditional fan dance, performing it to the 1959 track, Hot Cross Buns, and revealing giant cinnamon roll-like pasties at the end.

Marie Curiosity, who played Batman on opening night at Gorilla Tango's Holy Bouncing Boobies!, delivered a different take on the character. Set to the somewhat melancholy Short Change Hero, she started out in a black dress with the bat logo on the chest, then endured the throes of a cleverly choreographed transition, including surreptitiously applied makeup and a purple dress, to become the Joker for plan 9.

Angela Eve, of Eve's Parlor Productions, took us to New Orleans, parading with the elegant moves of a Southern belle in a lavishly appointed skirt, shawl, and headdress, to the sounds of Louis Armstrong's Tin Roof Blues, then getting athletic, and smokingly so, to a more modern track.

Gorilla Tango troupe members Ms. Pixy and Dinah Dentata performed a scene from GT's Fellowship of the Boobs show, in which a backlit, scantily clad elf writhes and struggles to escape bondage in a web/cocoon, then battles a multi-armed Nazi-looking Spider Queen to the death!

Accompanied by a couple of insanely high energy Perry Gripp synthpop tracks, Kiss Kiss troupe member Brad French (The Silver Fox!) had us in stitches with his off-beat humor and amazed us with some clever juggling.

The perfect '50s housewife in teal gown and pearls, Kiss Kiss troupe member Ray Ray Sunshine was Waiting for the Train to Come In (Peggy Lee), only to be thrilled when a box arrived, with her "man" in it, a big dildo!

At this point in the show, Max took the stage to bring us up to date on how much had been raised, saying that if we could just kick in a bit more, it would be a really, really impressive number, so for the sake of the BHOF, he was going to do a striptease for tips. Getting down to his boxers and tassels on his undershirt was good for plenty of bucks and yucks.

Chicago Starlet Lady Ginger had just the right moves for a classic fan dance to Tony Bennett's Moonglow. Flawlessly executed textbook burlesque.

Winding the show down on a strong note, Donna Touch performed a striptease from a glittery sequined flowing purple skirt and top, set to a 50's number.

Next, Max brought out Kiss Kiss producer Jenn Kincaid, who presented a giant check for $5000, the total raised by ticket sales, the silent auction, and donations from the audience and the performers, themselves.

Finally, it was time. Jack Midnight, long time emcee of the Belmont Burlesque, took the stage to wrap things up in his tradition, with a song, belting out My Kind of Town. Only this time, as he began the second verse, every single performer in the show came out, shimmied back down to pasties, and danced or twirled or bounced until the very end. It was the most visually overstimulating moment that I have ever had the pleasure to experience in over a decade of burlesque shows. THAT, folks, is how you do a finale!

Congratulations to Kiss Kiss producers Chris Biddle and Jenn Kincaid, the Greenhouse Theater and staff that volunteered their time, all 9 burlesque troupes represented, and each and every performer on a job well done. They put on one hell of a show, and raised an impressive amount of money for a cause dear to anyone who appreciates burlesque.

Recap by Ray Koltys

Photo by Robert E Potter III
(c)2012 REP3

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Bally Hoo! Show recap by Stella Cheeks

I’m dress in jeans, boots and a brightly colored t-shirt. Think if a lifesaver were a human being then throw on glasses and a side braid to complete the picture. I get off of work late so I rush over to Untitled, friend in tow (The lovely Legs Calibur). We park the car, which was surprisingly easy and affordable and rush into Untitled.

As the doors open an alternate reality is revealed, that of a 1930’s night club. The ladies are in fabulous dresses with elaborate hairstyles and the men, excuse me gentlemen, are dressed in such a way to inspire swoons from onlookers. The décor is that of a classy hole in the wall, like a batcave for mobsters. The lighting is dim, and everything has an anachronistic feel to it. Needless to say it was pretty stunning. 

And here I am dress in the most obnoxious colors and glasses.  Sheepishly I walk to the counter manned by a snazzy gentlemen in red suspenders and a bow tie (sigh) and our exchange goes something like “I have two tickets for the Ballyhoo”. “Last name please.” “Uhhh, Cheeks?” “Ah yes, right this way Miss Cheeks.” Classy.

We were led into the back where there were many cabaret style tables and a stage with a live band. The waiters were quick and attentive and the music was great. They serve their food in an appetizer style so it’s easy to share. We ordered spinach oysters and chocolate crème brulee (obviously). They have a fantastic drink selection and make pretty stellar bourbon manhattans complete with chocolate covered cherries. So with our fancy food and our fancy drinks (and our not so fancy attire) we were ready for a show. Not really knowing what to expect, we were pleasantly surprised.

The show starts immediately with the band striking up a song and the host for the evening, a snazzy gentleman complete with bowtie and tail coats, setting the mood for the entire performance with a serenade of “The Ballyhoo”. He was very charming, engaging and a great singer. Definitely felt like he walked out of a Gene Kelly movie. And then came the onslaught of fantastic performers. 

  • The musicians Samantha Lee and LJ Slaven and his singing saw were really fun and a great way to break up the dancing. 
     
  • Phaedra Darwish performed some scintillating belly dance routines. She definitely knew what she was doing it was subtle, controlled and elegant.
     
  • Lady Jack performed three burlesque routines, a treat for everyone in the audience. Especially some of the people who didn’t expect there to be burlesque. J I really admire how she was able to perform three routines in such a short time that were all beautiful and polished, but different in style and all equally engaging. My favorite was definitely the Mambo number; I love how it starts off so classy and turns into a very dancy funky number. 
     
  • My favorites by far though were the Galaxie Girls. I’ve always had a bit of an obsession with Charleston and they were fantastic. They did four numbers all a bit different, but in the style of Charleston and the aesthetic of the show. They even had a couple of duets with the host. They were fun and flirty, and man those girls could dance. Definitely the worth the price of admission just to see these girls.
     
  • And in case you wanted the host to be a little more Gene Kelly he closed the show with an impressive tap routine with singing and dancing with the band. 
I would say the Ballyhoo is definitely worth checking out. The atmosphere and the show is a super fun and with out a question different from your average night out. Just don’t forget to wear a dress!!
 
Recap by Stella Cheeks
 
Stella can be seen performing around the city of Chicago.  Be sure to follow Stella Cheek's Facebook page for updates.
 
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Kiss Kiss Cabaret's Hot Cha Cha Show Recap by Ray Ray Sunshine

First things first.  Before I start writing a word of this review, I freely admit that I’ve been getting all up in there friendly with Kiss Kiss Cabaret over the last few months.  Going to shows, going to rehearsals, going to company meetings, calling the performers by their real names kind of friendly.  You know, in there.  So I’m not going to write a review of their show because that would be weird of me.  Nope.  No nepotism here, folks!  Instead, let me tell you a bit about them.  From my fresh insider’s perspective.  Then I’ll give you a few very biased highlights of last Friday’s show.
 
 
What struck me first about the Kiss Kiss Cabaret company was their honest to boobness sincerity.  This is a group of people who are serious about putting on a damn fine show to entertain an audience.  They come about it from different perspectives, with different voices, and different talents -- and sometimes they butt heads or have technical snafus and foibles along the way -- but the end goal is always the same.  Entertainment.    Sincere, genuine, Vaudeville, Burlesque entertainment.  And they treat the people that help them achieve that like gold.  Dirty, dirty gold.  Producers, Jenn Kincaid and Chris O’Biddle not only work their fingers to the bone to put out a good product, they’re seemingly always available to help their performers with props, costumes, concepts -- anything they might need to make their acts as fabulous as possible.  Even choreographer (and former Las Vegas showgirl, what?) Jessica Reschke is also happy to help out with those evil, disheartening times when you just don’t know what to do with that stupid, freaking eight count, and she goes out of her way to schedule one-on-one time to get you through it.  They even treat their entire huge company to dinner out once in a while.  And that’s a shit ton of Chipotle burrito bowls, y’all.
 
 
The word family is pretty overused when it comes to things like this so I won’t use it.  But if you’ve spent a lot of time working in the theatre like I have, you’ll recognize what Kiss Kiss has going on.  It’s this passion to work together -- sometimes not sleeping, sometimes drinking more than you should, sometimes living off of grocery store sushi stuffed hurriedly into one’s mouth before rehearsal -- but always working with each other to get a good show out there.  I dig it.  
 
 
Oh, right.  The show last Friday.  It was great.  Kiss Kiss Cabaret has a weekly run at the Greenhouse Theatre Fridays at 11 PM.  Right now, they’re running their Summer Series, Hot Cha Cha, which features a mini carnival with naughty balloon sculptures, games, prizes, and original artwork by local artist and awesome guy, Mitch O’Connell (who was in the audience Friday night... he won a painting of a rabid raccoon.)  Host Max Flattery was particularly charming, and wonderfully pervy, in his rakish fez that evening.  And on hand as always were Brad French -- That Juggling Guy, The Amazing Tomas (who really does kind of amaze,) and killer comedian Adam Burke -- whose accent “is like a character actor who quit trying.”  He told this joke with the words “pound town” as a punchline that had me snorting and punching my husband in the thigh with malicious glee.  I can’t remember how it goes now.  Eh, it’s funnier coming from him anyway.  You should just come to the show.
 
 
And yes, there were girls.  Shimmying through town and defying gravity was Lola Martinet, who I was thrilled to see on a Chicago stage again.  Also making a special guest appearance was Aryanna La Fey of San Francisco’s Hubba Hubba Revue.  She was so stunning in this pink and orange feathery Louise Brooks in “The Canary Murder Case” sort of costume.  Regular guest, Ammunition, scalded the stage before rushing off to hit another gig, leaving the theatre in a cloud of metallic ozone -- a smell I’m coming to love. The Kiss Kiss Coquettes for the night were Walk Away Renee with her homage to Pulp Fiction, Donna Touch with a soulful number that touched you right here (I’m pointing to my crotch right now,) and Deja Sue who performed her new moth act.  It was pretty damn cool.  She was in this writhy cocoon before emerging as a ... well, a sexy glowing moth.  Many cheesy cracks about being drawn to her light come to mind, but I’ll contain myself. The Coquettes came together to close the show by slathering paint on themselves by the glow of blacklight to Nick Cave’s “Red Right Hand.”  It was filthy.
 
Kind of biased, maybe, but what do you want me to say?  I really like these guys.  And, you know, they pay me to bump it out on their stage.  Win, win.  Go check them out, why don't you?
 
Recap by Ray Ray Sunshine
Ray Ray can be seen performing around the city of Chicago.  Be sure to follow Ray Ray's Facebook page for updates.
 
Show Photos by Trevor Kelly
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2012 WCBF Recap - Saturday Night

My gym bag was stuffed with a fluffy pink boa, ballroom dance heels, and a gray hoodie.  I had my large iced coffee to nurse all Mary Louise Parker style; I was ready for workshopping.  As I scanned addresses along Belmont in search of Vaudezilla Studios, a flash of zebra print nestled in a sea of sleepy two-flats and taquerias caught my eye.  Must be it.  As I passed an old man slumped in the shade of his chicharonnes cart’s umbrella, I saw him double take a young heartbreaker in booty shorts and pin-up hair bouncing out of the Vaudezilla Studio’s door.  I wondered what the neighborhood thought about having a burlesque studio in it’s midst.
 
As I opened the Studio’s door, I was immediately greeted by a dozen bodies on the floor, backs arched, tassels flying.  “Hi! Come on in!” welcomed a friendly girl by the door.  She checked me in for the next two workshops with Jo Boobs Weldon and Coco Lectric, and told me to grab a seat and watch.  Jo Boobs was just finishing up her Tassels, Assels, and Anarchy class.  Attempting to be respectful and not stare too much,  I sat poking my phone.  Curiosity got the better of me before long, though, and I found myself standing next to Kitten DeVille, grinning and clapping as a room full of tits and asses twirled what seemed like a million tassels.  It looked like a lot of fun and I kicked myself for not signing up for that one.   
 
The following workshop, Diva in a Hoodie with Jo Boobs, I did sign up for and I’m glad I did.  I’m not going to give you the dish on what I learned because, well, you should take the class, but I will say that I felt pretty pleased with myself for taking advantage of the chance to get some pointers from the one who, literally, wrote the book on burlesque.  My next performance will have an extra bit of oomph now thanks to Jo.  Coco Lectric’s Big Bad Boa class was next and the room filled up with bodies and fluff.  The class was great fun and I felt a great deal more confident with my boa when finished.  Also when finished, the room looked as though there had been a massacre at the rainbow turkey farm.  Hugs around and I was out the door to get a bite to eat before booking it back to Stage 773 for the three Saturday night shows.
 
 
The audience for the 8:00 show was packed tight and I found myself squeezed in between a furtive looking nerdy guy and a middle-aged couple who were clearly thrilled to be out doing something risqué (at one point the wife actually high-fived her husband after he blurted out a timid “Woo!” It was cute.)  Starting off Saturday’s festivities was host Foxy Tann, who got us all nice and warmed up for what was to come.  And here is where I find my problem.  What I’m finding difficult about recapping a festival, is that there is really too much deliciousness to possibly cover in anything less than a senior thesis sized post.  And these three shows were all just fantastic.  So let me sum up with some highlights of the evening:
 
 
Tickled Fancy Burlesque’s pony number was like the fetish daydream of a dude who liked to play with his sister’s My Little Ponies when he was a kid.  The spray of red glitter when Penny Starr, Jr. bit the head off a chicken.  Queenie Von Curves performing to “Love Me Do” on pointe was as dazzling as her cotton candy blue hair.  Cherry LaVoix channeling her inner “Bad Girl” pop star, complete with wireless microphone.  The audience neck-craning in unison to get a glimpse of Kitten DeVille’s lady bits as she whipped off her knickers.  The smile of relief on Red Hot Annie’s face as she tentatively  felt her head and found Heaven’s halo instead of Hell’s horns.  The shimmering gold flash of beaded fringe hitting the floor as Jo Boobs payed homage to Gypsy Rose Lee.  Dee Dee and Irma’s sexily disturbing hobo bosom buddies duet that featured festering wounds and rhinestoned body cooties. Attention to detail after my own heart.
 
Dressed up like the sexiest fruit salad I’ve ever seen, the gorgeous Dolly Berlin from Toronto stole the first show -- making me wonder what the hell was going on up there in Canada that was producing all of these knock-out performers.  Finonna Flauntit, Mysterion the Mindreader, Connie Cahoots, and Blue Morris all hail from the Great White North as well.  Was it the cold?  The universal health care?  The maple syrup?
 
Oh, there’s more...  
 
 
The lone genie bottle sitting on a table upstage.  The lid pops suddenly and rolls off to the floor.  Smoke.  Then Kristina Nekyia appearing like magic (really, she just entered through the backstage curtains, but I was so willing to play along) to do a handstand on the table that defied logic.  She moved like water.  Jeez Loueez gave us a nice, big taste of just why she’s someone to keep your eye on with the number that won her the prize at Viva Las Vegas.  Katie Angels’ Klingon mating yell sent shivers down the shafts of nerds everywhere.  The adorably dirty firecracker Tootsie Spangels with her hot dogs and patriotism.  All of my 4th of July picnics will be found wanting now that I’ve seen that.  Oozing that old silver screen sort of sex appeal, Cherie Blondell stripping off her black lingerie with a devastating demure smile on her face.  I felt like I had gotten ahold of a vintage girly reel.   The Pleasure Chest of the Midwest, Paris Green and her gold wings.
 
 
The entire cast of Vaudezilla strutted out in secretarial garb to open the 10:00 main stage show.  Then they got straight to the business of ripping it off of each other before getting shooed off by clipboard-wielding co-producer Dick Dijon.  Naughty Natanya smoldered as a Russian seductress.  Suspended several feet in the air, a cat whiskered Steel Starling batted playfully at his rope.  Deanna Danger working her chair like it was a naughty lover.  And a hardcore Ghostbuster’s reference -- thank you, Red Rum, for making all of us children of the eighties smile.  The always sexalicous Coco Lectric channelling Theda Bara in a vampy ballet.
 
 
Speaking of, I love ballerina strippers.  And the WCBF was ripe with them.  New York’s Aurora Black delivered the goods with her lithe, crazy awesome dancer’s body as she stripped out of her prudish warm-up wear, shaking loose her hair and grinding it out.  Madame McKay from the 10:00 show also took my breath away as she crawled like an animal out from under her massive ruffled dress to twirl her pasties using the momentum of her échappé sur les pointes.  The combination of pasties and toe shoes is so inexplicably titillating, right?
 
A constant presence throughout the entire festival was sponsor, Bella & Bird, founded by drop-dead gorgeous London performer Siren Stiletto.  Aside from being an impeccable dresser, Siren makes these lovely cases to protect delicate items in your suitcase while traveling.  So clever.  She gave away two or three sets at each show to the lucky audience members who could get the crowd the juiciest with his or her own shimmies and shakes.  The contests were (almost) more fun to watch than the show.  A lot -- and I mean a lot -- was done to win those prizes.  And I don’t blame them.  They’re really cute.  I’ve got my eye on the Paris Set. 
 
 
Let me pause a moment here to make an observation, if you don’t mind. Girls, we had better watch out.  Holy hard-ons, there are some hot boylesque acts out there.  I’ve already mentioned Mister Junior and Blue Morris who sent me into shivers Friday night.  And we all know the Stage Door Johnnies -- who give me a lady boner every - single - time.  How can that Jett Adore be soooo dreamy?  The expression on his face is like he doesn’t even care while he gives you a bit -- then takes it away -- then gives it to you.... all with perfect, gorgeous timing.  Sigh.  And tightening the pants of the entire crowd at Saturday’s midnight show was Tito Bonito.  I had never seen Tito before and now I will never forget him.  He vogued.  I think if Desi Arnez, a Calvin Klein underwear model, and Madonna (in the 90’s) had a threesome, Tito Bonito could possibly be the red-hot love child of that dirty trinity. 
 
 
To close out these thoughts about my time at the Windy City Burlesque Festival, I want to get a little sentimental.  Stay with me, now.  It won’t be so bad.  Watching all of these unique talents, feeling all of that energy, all of that joy to just be doing -- to be a part of --something that you love; it was... there’s no other word for it.  Inspiring.  The happiness that ran through the weekend was electric.  And when Tiffany Carter took the stage on Saturday, the feeling of love in the room was palpable.  And as she spun, and shook her hair, and bumped, and grinded, she reminded us all of what a special thing it is that we have here in our hands.  Burlesque.  And as her music ended and she smiled at us like we were, all of us, old and loved friends, the audience leapt to their feet, shouting and whooping and slapping their hands together, and I thought to myself, “That is how it’s done, right there.  That is how it’s done.”
 
Recap by Ray Ray Sunshine
Ray Ray can be seen performing around the city of Chicago.  Be sure to follow Ray Ray's Facebook page for updates.
 
Photos by Kriss Abigail.
Tags: 
2012 Windy City Burlesque Fest
Chicago burlesque
recap
review

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